The Courage to Be Disliked
The philosophy of Alfred Adler put into a narrative conversation between an old man and young student. Very interesting stuff that I’m not quite sure how to digest all at once. I’m not sure if neuroscience agrees with all that is said here. Will definitely need further study.
- Inferiority issues are normal, inferiority complex is bad. That a complexity of issues.
- Every situation one is in is actually the one that person desires, believe it or not. You have issues with shyness or writer’s block or blushing because you don’t want to go out and try things because you’re afraid of the judgment you’ll receive.
- People with issues like social anxiety where they can’t leave the room or hyper-sensitive just want attention.
- There’s no such thing as trauma. The past and future don’t exist, there’s only the now. You’re not your past, so don’t let it dictate the rest of your life.
- Telling someone how to go about doing something is a superiority issue. Saying you know better than them and are trying to dictate their life.
- You choose to be angry. You can easily ignore the issue but you want to be mad to show power from insecurity. You didn’t shout because you were angry, you got angry so you could shout.
- Life is not a straight line. It’s a series of dots, events. That’s all.
- There’s no meaning to life. Just the meaning you make out of it.
- We’re all equals. Talk to everyone as the same. Whether a student and teacher. Parent and child. Boss and employee.
- It takes half your age to learn how to put this philosophy into practice. So start young.
- There are no evil people. People looking to cause evil like a cartoon villain. Just people rationalizing things that do no good to others out of their own self-pursuit.
- The evilest thing you can do is pamper a child. They will forever seek to avoid challenges.
- If you try to be liked by everyone you will fail and not live in accordance to yourself. You need the courage to be disliked by people. You will inevitably be disliked for pursuing your true goals so embrace it. Don’t seek it.
- What another person thinks about you is their task. Not yours. Just focus on your own.
- The most important thing in the world is courage.
- Don’t seek to climb a mountain to get to the top. Climb a mountain because you enjoy climbing mountains. It is in the action, dancing with the experience, you should enjoy happiness. Not in the end result.
- People would rather choose to stay in an unhappy mindset and lifestyle than change because of comfort. It may be a shitty car that rattles and takes a few tries to start, but they know how to work it and are used to it.
- Self Affirmation- I failed but that was a fluke, the real me will kill it next time. Self Acceptance- I failed. I don’t have enough experience and need to work harder to be good enough to win next time.
- People use their weakness as strength. Complaining about how hard their life is or how pathetic they are for attention. Like a baby. And a baby is the most powerful person in the room.
- Most important things in are the following. 1) To be self-reliant. 2) Live in harmony with society.
- If you can’t be completely yourself with a partner. You’re not truly in love.
- When you’re convinced you’re right in an argument. You’re in a power struggle. Close the argument there or you will both try to make each other submit.
- You bring up the memory of your dad hitting you because your relationship to get better.
- Praising is a person of ability manipulating a person with no ability.
- The moment you begin one vertical relationship, all your relationships start becoming vertical.
- Build a horizontal relationship to eradicate inferiority complexes.
- Praising leads one to believe they have no ability.
- Never praise or rebuke. Only encourage.
- Bad behavior is much like good behavior. All a tool of being noticed and being seen as unique.
- Have confidence in yourself and others. If you choose to not have confidence with other people, then sever the ties. No room for middle ground.
- Whatever hardship happened, don’t wonder how it came about. Look ahead of where to go to now.
- Life is always simple. Life is always complete. Don’t get too serious about it.
- Waiting for something in the future is postponing life. Working toward it is living in the now.
- Greatest lie is that we can see the past and future. You can’t.
- The best thing one can do is know they are contributing to society. You will not need recognition nor should you ever seek it.